Counterfeit Monkey — 103 of 292

Emily Short

Release 6

Section 4 - The New Church

The New Church is west of the Church Forecourt. It is indoors and proper-named. "Not a Gothic cathedral from the era when the church was wealthy and secure, but a gallant Neo-classical response to the turmoil of the 18th century, when the power of language was just beginning to be evident, and instead of an immutable cosmology, we suddenly had observer-consensus reality. [one of]What is the need or use of God, if it turns out that He gave all the power of creation to Adam when He let him name the animals?[or][stopping]".

The inscription is fixed in place in the New Church. It is distant. "An [inscription] above [the altar], picked out in gold paint, reads Ἐν ἀρχῇ ἦν ὁ λόγος." Understand "paint" or "gold" as the inscription.

The description is "It means, In the Beginning was the Word.

A patchy attempt to make theology align with scientific and linguistic reality, but it still has power. And despite the Bureau's depredations of foreign language writings everywhere else, they have never quite had the nerve to deface this."

Some columns are scenery in the New Church. The description of the columns is "The column shafts are unornamented, only tapering a little at the top; the capitals a restrained Ionic." Understand "pillar" or "pillars" or "column" as the columns.

Some clear glass windows are scenery in the New Church. The description of the clear glass windows is "They admit a great deal of light, as though to promise that there is no lie and no chicanery here." Understand "window" as the clear glass windows.

The introduction of New Church is "My mother volunteers here: I think I should warn you. She is not quite religious, but believes in the cultural value of the building, and in having some sort of place where people can go for spiritual respite. She also, I suspect, likes having those great gold letters, defiantly foreign and arcane in the heart of the old city."

Some pews are a scenery supporter in the New Church. The description of the pews is "Simply built out of dark solid wood, to contrast with the white walls and columns, and the clear glass windows." Understand "pew" or "seat" or "seats" or "bench" or "benches" as the pews.

The altar is fixed in place in the New Church. It is a supporter.


a thing is liturgical:

if it is the cross, yes;

if it is the cassock, yes;

if it is the tippet, yes.

Instead of putting something on the altar:

if the player wears a liturgical thing:

if the noun is the cross:

record "Reverend Plaice award for placing the cross on the altar while liturgically dressed" as an achievement;

continue the action;


say "While I am not exactly a believer in the dogmas associated with this place, it seems crass to go putting random items on the altar.";


say "[You] [are] not vested appropriately for dressing the altar; someone would be sure to notice."

The description of the altar is "It is simple and bare of cloth or flowers[if the cross is on the altar], though a cross is set in the appropriate place[end if]."

Instead of facing up in the New Church:

say "The ceiling is handsomely solid but not decorated: no painted feet of the ascendant Christ dangling down between clouds, no medieval grotesques or floral bosses. "

Instead of going north in the New Church:

say "The only thing in that direction is the little space behind the altar, and to enter that seems like needless trespassing."

Rule for listing exits when in New Church:

if boldening is true:

say "There are side exits both [b]east[/b] and [b]west[/b]; and a gift shop occupies the narthex at the [b]south[/b] end.";


say "There are side exits both east and west; and a gift shop occupies the narthex at the south end."

Understand "pray" or "pray to [text]" as a mistake ("[prayer response]").

To say prayer response:

say "I'm not much one for prayer myself. But you, evidently, are, and I find myself squirming[--]

(While your mind and heart are elsewhere, ordering your concerns and offering them up.)

[--]and now quiet. I don't know what, if anything, that may have accomplished, but I promise not to be rude if you need to do it again."

The gift-shop-exterior is a facade in New Church. It is scenery. It fronts south. The description is "[You] can't really see it from here; I just know that it is back there, from previous visits, though decently screened from the main body of the church." Understand "shop" or "gift shop" or "narthex" as the gift-shop-exterior. The printed name is "gift shop".

The Cathedral Gift Shop is south of the New Church. Understand "narthex" as the cathedral gift shop. It is indoors. "This area used to be a sort of antechamber where the priests and choir might gather for processions into the church, but it has now been done over for retail purposes. This is one of several schemes to make the New Church pay for its own upkeep: a problem is that people somehow feel everything associated with a church ought to be free, including lunchtime concerts, potluck suppers, and Thursday-night lecture series."

The gift-shop counter is a scenery supporter in the Cathedral Gift Shop. The description is "The usual arrangement for making purchases."

Some wire racks are scenery things in the Cathedral Gift Shop. The description is "They're designed to hold postcards or other similar small merchandise." Understand "rack" as racks.

Some postcards are on the wire racks. The description of the postcards is "You may be a tourist in these parts, but I, my curious friend, am not: so I find these pictures all rather foolish, and not at all representative of the town as it really is." The postcards are scenery. Understand "pictures" or "harbor" or "city walls" or "walls" or "fortifications" or "ancient fortifications" or "cards" or "harbour" or "postcard" or "picture" or "architecture" or "souvenirs" as the postcards.

A dangerous construction rule for the wire racks:

now the postcards are on the wire racks.

A dangerous construction rule for the wire rack:

now the postcards are on the wire rack.

Test rack with "x postcards / wave s-remover at racks / x postcards / open tub / gel rack / x postcards" holding the tub in the Gift Shop.

Instead of buying the postcards:

say "And send them where? There is no one [you] wish were here."

Instead of turning the racks:

say "[You] idly turn one of the racks, as though [you] were a tourist here. Familiar pictures swivel past, both of the church interior and of the town as a whole."

Instead of taking or buying the postcards,

say "Buying souvenirs is not the current objective."

Instead of buying the paper-models:

say "I am all thumbs and never get these things right."

Instead of buying the souvenir tea-towels:

say "They're just too embarrassingly cute."

Instead of buying the shot glasses:

say "The inscribed proverbs about the merits and demerits of the grape would be likely to put me off my drink."

Some tomes are a fixed in place thing in the Cathedral Gift Shop. "A long line of dusty [tomes] are lined up on one of the shelves, marked 'free for taking'. None are missing." A component-tome is part of the tomes. The printed name of the component-tome is "tome". Understand "tome" or "book" as the component-tome.

The description of the tomes is "Looking at one gives a sense of all. [description of the tome]". The description of the component-tome is "[description of the tome]".

Instead of taking the tomes:

say "The full set runs to thirty or forty volumes, each one three inches thick and printed on heavy paper. They're much too bulky to carry off."

Instead of taking the component-tome:

say "[You] reach for one of the volumes, then stop, indecisive. They really do seem to be a set, and I can't bring myself to break it up."

Some paper-models, some souvenir tea-towels, and some shot glasses are scenery in the Cathedral Gift Shop. Understand "model" or "souvenirs" or "paper" or "models" as the paper-models. Understand "window" or "windows" or "inscription" as the model when the model is the prior named noun. Understand "towel" or "souvenirs" or "towels" or "tea" as the tea-towels. Understand "glass" or "souvenirs" as the shot glasses.

The printed name of the paper-models is "paper models".

Instead of inserting something into shot glasses in the presence of the volunteer:

say "The volunteer fixes us with such a steely stare that [you] stop immediately."

The description of the paper-models is "With four or five hours['] lab[our], and a quantity of white glue and toothpicks, you too could assemble your very own rendition of the church, complete with windows and a printed-on version of the inscription over the altar; in fact, the model is so cleverly made that it can be taken apart to allow a view in cross-section."

The introduction of the paper-models is "Despite all that, I think [you][']ll pass."

The description of the souvenir tea-towels is "Embroidered with gaudy logos."

The description of the shot glasses is "Printed with various Biblical verses related to drinking."

The gift shop volunteer is an alert man in Cathedral Gift Shop. "An elderly man in a [knitted wool cap] presides over the gift shop." Understand "elderly" or "man" as the gift shop volunteer.

Rule for writing a topic sentence about the gift shop volunteer when the gift shop volunteer is not the current interlocutor:

set the current interlocutor to the gift shop volunteer;

say "The elderly man in charge of the gift shop nods at us as [you] come in.[run paragraph on]";

now everything held by the gift shop volunteer is mentioned.

The description of the gift shop volunteer is "He has one of those withered-apple faces more frequent in old women, but there is no doubt from the shape of his nose and the slight stubble that he is in fact male."

The gift shop volunteer wears a knitted wool cap. The description of the knitted wool cap is "It is made of some kind of soft and fuzzy blue yarn." Understand "yarn" as the knitted wool cap.

The Church Garden is west of New Church. "One might expect a graveyard, but burial inside the city walls has been forbidden for sanitation reasons since well before the New Church was built. Instead, there is a small meditation garden, which was once designed as an intricate knotwork of shrubs[if the thicket is not in the location]. Now the shrubs are gone[end if]."

Report facing in Church Garden:

say "The garden is intentionally a space set apart, from which it is hard to see anything of the rest of the world." instead.

Instead of listening to the Church Garden: say "The sounds of the outside world are muted here. There is some traffic noise, it's true; it just doesn't seem terribly important from here."

Understand "meditate" as a mistake ("I'm not bringing you on a tandem ride through my psyche. Sorry.").

The thicket is a fixed in place thing in the Church Garden. "The knotwork has since grown into [a thicket].".

The description is "Densely-grown: the church hasn't been able to afford a real groundskeeper for some time."

The scent-description is "dusty vegetation and maybe a little rosemary".

Understand "knotwork" or "shrubs" or "bushes" or "herbaceous" or "rosemary" as the thicket.

Report waving the letter-remover at the thicket creating the ticket:

say "The thicket abruptly shrivels and flattens itself, and in its place a ticket flutters to earth." instead.

Instead of looking under the thicket:

say "Nothing is beneath."

Instead of taking the thicket:

say "It grows much too densely to be pulled out of the ground."

Before putting gel on the ticket:

if the player is not in Church Garden, say "It would probably cause inconvenience, not to mention drawing considerable attention, to remake the thicket anywhere but in the garden from which it came." instead;

if the soil is not in Church Garden, say "There is no longer anywhere for the thicket to grow." instead;

if the ticket is not in Church Garden


if the player does not carry the ticket, try taking the ticket;

if the player does not carry the ticket, stop the action;

try dropping the ticket;

if ticket is not in Church Garden, stop the action;

end if;