Counterfeit Monkey — 143 of 292

Emily Short

Release 6

Section 10 - Brown's Lab

Southwest of Samuel Johnson Basement is Brown's Lab. Brown's Lab is indoors.

Sanity-check going to Brown's Lab when Higgate-arrested has happened:

say "The whole area is likely under inspection after Brown's little Judas act back there. Who knew he had it in him? Is he seriously expecting to get her position?" instead.

Sanity-check approaching Brown's Lab when Higgate-arrested has happened:

say "The whole area is likely under inspection after Brown's little Judas act back there. Who knew he had it in him? Is he seriously expecting to get her position?" instead.

The work table is scenery in Brown's Lab. The description is "It is a high green-covered counter, like those found in a physics laboratory."

On the work table is an electrical equipment. The electrical equipment is fixed in place. The indefinite article of the electrical equipment is "some". The flexible appearance of the electrical equipment is "A mare's nest of electrical equipment occupies most of the top of [the work table]." Understand "mare's" or "nest" or "metal" or "digital" or "readouts" or "boxes" or "wires" or "readout" or "box" or "wire" or "series" or "series of" as the electrical equipment.

The description of the electrical equipment is "A series of metal boxes with digital readouts and wires that lead in and out."

The introduction of the electrical equipment is "Brown uses this stuff to measure the amount of energy it requires to reify abstract concepts such as 'talk'. He has a theory, apparently, that by measuring the minute variations of input energy required to create these items, he can establish baseline indications about how much certain words are used by English-speakers worldwide; ten, fifty, or a hundred years from now, this data will allow researchers to determine whether these same words have become more or less popular relative to other words.

It's a little weird. Abstract reifications are one of the absolute coolest things in language studies[if higgate is as-yet-unknown],[otherwise] [--] Professor Higgate calls them the dark matter of language [--][end if] but Brown has managed to pick the very most boring research project to perform on them, and one which moreover is guaranteed to prevent him having any results worth publishing any time in the next two decades.

This pretty much sums up everything you need to know about the guy."

Professor Brown is an alert man in Brown's Lab. "[Professor Brown], the Reification of Abstracts researcher, is [if Brown is in Brown's Lab]hunched over his work table[else]standing around awkwardly[end if]."

The introduction is "Brown is only barely a professor at all [--] actually, his working title is Senior Lecturer, and he holds a yearly contract which the University has the option to renew at whim. This prevents him going elsewhere while ensuring that he never has a fully-funded lab of his own. All [the electrical equipment] down here is tinker-toys compared to the stuff he really wants; in fact, half of it he built himself with components he bought with his own money.

I know all this because Brown cornered me in the hallway one afternoon and talked to me for twenty minutes straight about the pressures of academic job-hunting in the current political climate. I tried to get him to stop, but he's like a wind-up toy."

The description of Professor Brown is "He's going bald on top [--] prematurely, because I think he's only 28 or so [--] so, to compensate, he's grown a goofy little [goatee]."

Check waving the letter-remover at goatee when the current setting of the letter-remover is "e":

if letter-remover is creature-enabled:

say "Oh so tempting. You're not the first person to think of it, trust me. The undergrads have a whole sideline in Professor Brown caricature where he has a goat coming out of his face. But if we succeeded, we'd get arrested, and Brown could be seriously injured. I can't go along with that." instead;


say "Brown's facial hair is currently saved by the fact that we couldn't generate a goat with this letter-remover." instead.

Test goatee with "wave e-remover at goatee / autoupgrade / wave e-remover at goatee" in Brown's Lab.

The goatee is part of Professor Brown. The description is "It fails to conceal Professor Brown's lack of personal charisma."

Report Professor Brown saying hello to the player:

say "'Don't touch anything, please,' he says, without looking up." instead.

Professor Brown wears steel-rimmed spectacles and a worn leather jacket. The description of the steel-rimmed spectacles is "They have tiny oval lenses, tinted green."

The introduction of the steel-rimmed spectacles is "Brown seems to be simultaneously cultivating the image of rebel (age 17) and absent-minded professor (age 65)."

The description of the worn leather jacket is "A moderately cool sort of bomber-jacket look, except that the elbows have given out and the cuffs are unraveling."