Counterfeit Monkey — 96 of 292

Part 2 - Old Town Celebration

Chapter 1 - Central Park Area

Section 1 - The Park

Park Center is a room. The description of the Park Center is "This is a handsome expanse of [grass], shaped like a rectangle with rounds cut from the corners, bounded by [railings] along the north side. There are no stalls and no barkers here, but [small children] are running around [if the horses are part of the fountain]an impressive[else]a desecrated[end if] [marble fountain][if hoses are part of the marble fountain], currently spewing water in all directions[end if].[one of]

I gather from the direction of your thoughts that you dislike small children, so I'll restrain myself from trying to communicate with them.[or][stopping]".

Some railings are a facade. Understand "railing" as the railings. They are scenery in Park Center. They front north. The description is "Painted railings separate the Park and surrounding pedestrian areas from the private property to the north. Some [lipstick advertisements] have been hung over the railings." Understand "painted" as the railings.

The closure notice is "There is no gate in the railings at this point. ".

Check waving the letter-remover at the railings when the current setting of the letter-remover is "s":

say "The letter-remover warms in our hand, but nothing visibly changes, perhaps because RAILING lies on the awkward verge between a count noun and a mass noun, and if we say RAILINGS we mean something not very different from A QUANTITY OF RAILING, making RAILING a word with cumulative reference." instead

Some lipstick advertisements are part of the railings.

Understand "ad" or "ads" or "advert" or "adverts" as the lipstick advertisements.

The description of the lipstick advertisements is "Over the image of a pouting, lipsticked female, it says: IN EVERY TEMPTRESS THERE IS AN EMPRESS [--] MAKE YOURSELF UP TO A T! It's selling Temptress Brand cosmetics, apparently.".

Rule for listing exits when looking in Park Center:

do nothing instead.

Rule for distantly describing Park Center:

say "That way is the cen[ter] of the park, across a lot of grass."

[Before printing the name of a direction (called way) while listing exits:

if the player is in Park Center, say "[room way from the location] to the "

Procedural rule when listing exits:

if the location is Park Center, ignore the append room names rule.

Rule for listing exits when looking in Park Center:

do nothing instead. ]

Check waving the letter-remover at the small children when the current setting of the letter-remover is "s":

say "If it were a more powerful device, the letter-remover might be able to generate something resembling the concept of 'mall children,' but that's not an idiomatic saying around here. Not to mention that the parents would be bound to object." instead

Carry out examining small children:

trigger Childhood-bedroom.

Some small children are a person in Park Center. Understand "child" or "boy" or "girl" or "sibling" as the small children. The description is "They look small and harmless, but you're probably right that they have sticky hands." The children are scenery.

Every turn when the small children can see the hoses and the location is Park Center:

if a random chance of 1 in 2 succeeds:

say "[one of]A little boy[or]A small girl[at random] [one of]tries to catch the spraying hosewater in an open mouth[or]pushes a sibling into the path of the water[or]leaps gleefully through the arc of water[at random].";

change the description of the small children to "Most of them are now sopping wet, and loving it.";

if a random chance of 1 in 5 succeeds:

say "[line break]A harrassed-looking All-Purpose Officer comes hurrying across the lawn towards the vandal[ize]d fountain. For a moment it looks like she might get close enough to spot us, but about twenty paces off she stops, plants her feet, and gets out a restoration-gel rifle.

There's a bang, a last glittering fan of water in the air.[paragraph break]";

gel-convert the hoses;

say "[line break]As for the Officer, she's already speaking into her radio as she turns away.".

Every turn when the small children can see the ho and the location is Park Center:

say "It isn't but a few seconds before a watchful parent notices the ho strutting around and goes to report her.

She is too stupid — as a constructed person — to put up much resistance when an officer shows up to escort her away.";

remove the ho from play.

[And now we need to special-case these, because otherwise they will fall on the ground. In general we want letter-conversion to move things that are part of other things, but here it's funnier and also more persuasive if the changed items stay part of the fountain.]

To gel-convert (item - hoses):

now everything which proffers the item is part of the marble fountain;

now the item is in the repository;

[play the sound of gel splort;]

say "[The item] become[s] [a list of things which proffer the item], redecorating the fountain.";

repeat with secondary running through things which proffer the item:

abide by the dangerous construction rules for the secondary.

To gel-convert (item - hoe):

now everything which proffers the item is part of the marble fountain;

now the item is in the repository;

[play the sound of gel splort;]

say "[The item] become[s] [a list of things which proffer the item], redecorating the fountain.";

repeat with secondary running through things which proffer the item:

abide by the dangerous construction rules for the secondary.

Instead of taking the children:

say "There's no need to attract attention to our new face with a kidnapping charge."

Instead of kissing the children:

say "I doubt their mothers would approve."

Instead of saying hello to the children:

say "[one of]They have probably been instructed not to talk to strangers[or]Come on, they're not in the least useful[stopping].".

Instead of asking the children about something:

say "[one of]They have probably been instructed not to talk to strangers[or]Come on, they're not in the least useful[stopping].".

Instead of telling the children about something:

say "None of them hold still long enough to listen."

[The fountain itself is similar to one in a plaza in Carcassonne. The horses-to-hoses business was a late-game addition, thanks to Jim Munroe trying to amuse the children.]

The marble fountain is a scenery container. It is in Park center. The description of the fountain is "[if horses are part of the marble fountain]It depicts some horses rising out of the waves, with trident-bearing gods on their backs, and some nymphs overseeing the whole operation. Probably 17th-century, to judge by the excessive number of writhing [figures][else if hoses are part of the marble fountain]The nymphs and trident-bearing gods are now aiming hoses out at passers-by[else if hoe is part of the marble fountain]A single bewildered nymph is carrying a hoe, which presumably isn't much use out at sea[else]The former majesty of the fountain has been extensively vandalized[end if]."

The introduction is "The fountain celebrates [--] if that's the right word [--] the conquest of this island by the Dutch in 1607, it having been a Spanish possession for about 140 years before that.

In spite of this the fountain bears not a word of any foreign language, the original Latin or vernacular inscriptions having been long since renovated away."

Some horses are part of the marble fountain. Understand "horse" or "horse statues" or "horse sculptures" as the horses. The description of the horses is "Their eyes are wide and their nostrils flared with excitement."

Some sculpted figures are part of the fountain. The description of the sculpted figures is "Nereids and Tritons, apparently, together with tame fish, conch shells, and other representatives of the goods of the sea." Understand "nereids" or "tritons" or "fish" or "shells" or "goods of the sea" or "tame" or "conch" or "gods" or "trident-bearing" or "poseidon" or "neptune" or "nymphs" or "nymph" or "trident" or "god" as the figures.

Instead of searching the fountain:

say "The basin is nearly full of clear [water], but there are no coins or other useful articles to be found. This is not a culture that tends to discard what might be of use."

The missing-inscriptions are part of the marble fountain. The printed name is "inscriptions". Understand "inscription" or "inscriptions" or "renovated" or "latin" or "vernacular" or "missing" or "nonexistent" or "non-existent" or "foreign" or "lettering" or "letters" or "words" or "language" or "original" as the missing-inscriptions.

The description of the missing-inscriptions is "Whatever writing once graced the fountain, it has been chiseled off because it wasn't in English."

Instead of listening to a room when in Open-Air:

if hoses are part of the marble fountain:

say "The sound of children shrieking and jumping through fountain water is by far the loudest component of the assorted din.";

else:

say "Children laughing and shouting, people selling food and drinks, various fairground machinery, tinny music, adult conversations, flowing water in the fountain."

After deciding the scope of the player when in Open-Air:

place the fountain in scope.

Rule for reaching inside a room:

if the person reaching is the player:

say "[You] can only look from this distance.";

deny access.

The water is in the fountain. The water is fluid and scenery.

The indefinite article is "some".

Understand "clear" as the water.

Instead of taking the water, say "[You] can't, not having webbed fingers."

Instead of drinking the water, say "It might not be sanitary."

The scent-description of the water is "wet marble".

Some grass is scenery in the Park Center. The description is "Deep green and velvety."

Instead of touching the grass: say "[You] kneel and run our fingers through the grass."

Sanity-check digging in the grass:

say "It must have taken years of careful upkeep to achieve the smoothness of the present turf. No point in ruining that now." instead.

Rule for distantly describing the Fair:

say "That way is the fair: a mass of booths and people and games and bright sunlight, too chaotic to get a good look at from here."

The Fair is south of Park Center. "[one of]Today is Serial Comma Day, one of the biggest holidays on the island, and a time when half the police force is off duty while the other half is over-extended. The perfect day to make an escape. [or][stopping]The square at the cen[ter] of town is [one of]therefore [or][stopping]crowded with people, and there's an overpowering smell of artificial butter and spun sugar."

Instead of smelling the Fair:

say "It smells like candy and popcorn, with a note of booze and another note of sweaty crowd."

The wheel is a thing in the Fair. The heft is 5. The description is "It's the sort of game where you spin the wheel for a prize[if the location is the Fair]. No one seems to be manning or using it any more, though; perhaps the supply of prizes has run out[end if]."

Instead of pushing or pulling the wheel:

say "The wheel contraption moves a few millimeters to the side. Of course, we could always spin it and see what happens."

Instead of looking under the wheel:

say "It looks heavy, but is not actually attached to the ground."

Instead of listening to the wheel:

say "When the wheel is spinning, the flipper makes a satisfying [i]thup thup thup[/i] noise as it flips from one slot to the next."

Understand "use [wheel]" as turning.

Instead of turning the wheel:

say "We give the wheel [one of]a[or]another[stopping] [one of]energetic[or]hard[or]strong[at random] spin. The pointer lands on [one of]HOT AIR[one of], which appears to be the most common reward[or] again[or] yet again[stopping][or]FREE POSTCARD[or]BLUE RASPBERRY LOLLIPOP[or]STUFFED DONKEY[or]STUFFED OCTOPUS[or]SET OF PAINT[or]LIFETIME CHARD SUPPLY[as decreasingly likely outcomes][one of]. Sadly, no one is around to award this prize (which is probably why we were allowed to spin it without having some sort of ticket first)[or]. Too bad no one is around to award the prize. Of course, if someone were, they'd be charging to spin[stopping]."

The random foodstuffs are scenery in the fair. Understand "spun" or "sugar" or "candy" or "butter" or "artificial" or "booze" or "popcorn" as the random foodstuffs.

The description is "An assortment of unwholesome things to eat are sold here, and since it's extremely hot, [you] smell all of them pungently and in rapid succession. If it's not my imagination, actually, I think this female nose is better than mine. (I've heard that women have a better sense of smell. This could be wrong.) At the moment that sensitivity is a liability, as disorienting as flashes of a col[our]ed strobe.". [1]

Some kiosks are fixed in place things in the Fair. The description of the kiosks is "They're the usual tacky affairs of brightly painted [if the player wears the Britishizing goggles]fibreboard[otherwise]fiberboard[end if] and cheap prizes. I don't see any likely to help us today, however." Understand "activity" or "activities" or "cheap" or "prizes" or "face-painting" or "face painting" or "spell offs" or "spell-offs" as the kiosks.

A ranking rule for the kiosks: increase description-rank of the kiosks by 50.

Definition: the kiosks are deeply dull:

no.

Rule for writing a topic sentence about kiosks:

say "[You] are surrounded by [kiosks] for spell-offs, face-painting[if the wheel is in the location], [a wheel] to spin for prizes[end if], and other activities best for small children or the very easily amused. [run paragraph on]";

Rule for listing exits when in Fair:

if boldening is true:

say "The Fair continues with a selection of carnival games to the [b]west[/b], and with open park to the [b]north[/b] and [b]east[/b].";

else:

say "The Fair continues with a selection of carnival games to the west, and with open park to the north and east."