Counterfeit Monkey — 151 of 292

Section 7 - Antechamber

The Antechamber is south of the Rotunda. It is indoors. "The most important task of any government bureau is to keep away time-wasters, irritants, and uninformed members of the general public, who might distract the diligent workers within from their important tasks. The Bureau of Orthography is no different.

An [instructive notice] details the criteria for entry to the Bureau proper."

The instructive notice is scenery in the Antechamber. The description is "Please note that those wishing to enter must have a PASS suitable for visitors, which must include an UP TO DATE photograph closely resembling the subject. Passes that do not look like their possessors will be rejected.

Visitors will also need an additional proof of their business in the Bureau, such as a letter of invitation from a Bureau authority.

All credentials will be subject to inspection with an authentication scope.

Anyone attempting to enter the Bureau with a falsified pass or lack of proper credentials may be subject to FINES and INDEFINITE DETENTION."

A tall stool is in the Antechamber. The description of the stool is "It looks uncomfortable."

Instead of waving the letter-remover at something in the presence of the secretary:

say "Not with the secretary watching, [you] don't."

The secretary is a police woman on the tall stool. The description of the secretary is "Curiously, she refuses to quite meet our eye."

Understand "woman" or "guard" as the secretary. [The secretary carries an Authentication Scope.] She wears a pencil skirt and a plain white top. Understand "shirt" or "blouse" as the top.

The description of the pencil skirt is "A prim, pencil-length number reaching to just below the knee. It is the regulation shade of Orthographical Blue."

The description of the plain white top is "Devoid of ruffles, lace or other distractions."

[Originally the secretary could be solved in a variety of different ways. Initially she was dressed in a skirt and blouse, both of which could be letter-removed to make other objects, so that she'd be embarrassed by her sudden denuding and run out of the room. That solution didn't last very long at all, though, since about two seconds of thought suggested it was both mean-spirited and creepy.]

Rule for writing a paragraph about the secretary when the location of the cad is the location:

say "[The secretary] sits on [a stool], fidgeting with [if a random chance of one in two succeeds]the hem of [the skirt][otherwise]the neckline of [the plain white top][end if], and glaring at [the cad]. ".

Rule for writing a topic sentence about the secretary:

say "Here to guard access to the rest of the building is [a secretary][if the secretary is on the tall stool] [in-on a tall stool][end if].[no line break] [run paragraph on]".

[Every turn when the secretary carries the skit:

say "[The secretary] screeches in horror at her newly defrocked state, and leaps from [the stool], dropping [the list of things carried by the ]. She runs from the room.

The skit [--] which turns out to be performed by a harmless-looking man wearing a tea-towel on his head [--] turns to us and says, 'Oh dear!'

The man departs after her.";

now everything carried by the secretary is in the location;

remove the secretary from play;

remove the skit from play. ]

Instead of someone going to a room which is not the Rotunda in the presence of the secretary when the person asked does not enclose the pass:

if the player can see the actor:

say "'Pass?' demands the secretary in a bored voice. [The person asked] shrugs and goes no further."

Instead of going to a room which is not the Rotunda in the presence of the secretary when the player does not enclose the pass and the player is not allowed:

say "[path-walked so far][one of][You] stride confidently toward [the noun] [--] that's my contribution, as you're more of a shuffler or possibly a slinker. Actually, I think a little of your posture must still be showing, because [you] [are] stopped by the secretary. [or]I do my best to give us a cocky swagger, but she's on to us now. [stopping][paragraph break]";

if the current interlocutor is not the secretary, silently try saying hello to the secretary;

try the secretary discussing pass-need.

Sanity-check showing the invitation to the secretary:

try going east instead.

Sanity-check showing the pass to the secretary:

try going east instead.

Instead of going to a room which is not the Rotunda in the presence of the secretary when the player encloses the pass and the secretary encloses the Regulation Authentication Scope and the player is not allowed:

if already caught is true:

make no decision;

if the number of entries in the path so far of the player is greater than 0:

say "[path-walked so far]";

if the pass is not visible:

if the pass is enclosed by a closed container (called the barrier):

try opening the barrier;

try taking the pass;

otherwise:

say "[You] show our pass to the secretary.";

if the player does not wear the hairpiece and the player does not wear the wig:

now already caught is true;

say "[line break]The secretary looks at the pass, then looks at us. 'This isn't you on the pass,' she says. [paragraph break]'I've changed my hair,' I explain. 'And I'm wearing different contacts. And I've lost some weight.'[paragraph break]She looks at the picture, then at us again. 'Nope,' she says [--] and sends the room into lockdown.[paragraph break]I'm telling you, it's the hair that did it. If that matched better, I doubt she would have looked so closely at the rest.";

end the game saying "Our arrest goes badly";

stop the action;

if the player wears the hairpiece:

try the secretary looking at the hairpiece through the scope;

if the hairpiece is not disguised:

end the game saying "Our detention goes badly";

stop the action;

if the player wears the wig:

try the secretary looking at the wig through the scope;

if the wig is not disguised:

end the game saying "Our detention goes badly";

stop the action;

if the player does not enclose the invitation:

now already caught is true;

say "[line break]The secretary looks at the pass, then looks at us. 'And the purpose of your visit?' [paragraph break][You] say [you] [are] here at invitation to examine the T-inserter. She asks where the invitation is. [You] admit [you] don't have it just at the moment. It is possible that I come off as particularly dishonest in my nervous attempts to convince her.";

end the game saying "Our detention goes badly";

stop the action;

try the secretary looking at the pass through the scope;

if the player is allowed:

record "passing the secretarial test" as achieved;

[now the secretary carries the pass;]

now the secretary carries the invitation;

now the invitation is not essential;

complete "Gain entrance to the Bureau";

say "[line break]'That will do,' the secretary says of our pass. Then she inspects the invitation with the monocle. 'Most of the visits were earlier in the day,' she says. 'Quite a fracas there was this morning.'

'The invitation doesn't state a particular time,' we say.

She deflates momentarily and goes back to inspecting. 'There's another problem. This invitation is for Professor Waterstone. They're watermarked individually to avoid fraud. You're not Professor Waterstone.'

'He sent me to do some research in his place. I'm a student of his.'

She frowns. 'Invitations to inspect highly secure machinery are not transferrable,' she says. 'And how should I know whether you stole it?'";

Sanity-check going to the Antechamber when the secretary carries the pass:

say "[You] went to all that trouble to get inside; [you] might as well go on from here." instead.

Sanity-check going to the Rotunda when the secretary carries the pass:

say "[You] went to all that trouble to get inside; [you] might as well go on from here." instead.

[Instead of going to the Antechamber in the presence of the secretary:

say "We went to all that trouble to get inside; we might as well go on from here."]

Attempting entry is a scene. Attempting Entry begins when the secretary carries the invitation.

Instead of doing something other than waiting during Attempting entry:

say "I'm handling this."

Instead of waiting during Attempting Entry:

say "Sure, hang in there. I'm pretty sure that what [you] need here is to act as much like Professor Waterstone himself as humanly possible."

Every turn during attempting entry:

if time since Attempting Entry began is 1 minute:

say "'Professor Waterstone is a busy man,' I say. 'If you want me to tell him you wouldn't cooperate, I'm just as happy not to work on Serial Comma Day. But if DCL wants his endorsement or advice, they'll have to work within his schedule. If you are going to turn me away, however, I would like the opportunity to speak with your manager.'

The secretary scowls. 'Fine. I'll contact Waterstone.' She places a call [--] on speakerphone, no less [--] glaring all the time.

'Waterstone here,' says the phone. There's background traffic noise. Waterstone must be on the road already. Figures he would have a car phone. Most people aren't allowed, here.

'I have a student here attempting to use your invitation to enter the Bureau,' says the secretary. 'Was it stolen?'

'What? Oh that. No.'

'You're saying you gave your invitation away.'

'Yes I did,' says Waterstone. 'And I have been a research partner to DCL since before you were born.'

'Sir, you are aware that this is highly irregular!'";

Attempting entry ends when the time since Attempting entry began is three minutes.

When attempting entry ends:

say "The secretary is still talking. 'You personally vouch for this student? You know her well and are sure of her trustworthiness?'

'Known her for years,' lies Waterstone, annoyed. There's a click as he hangs up.

'What a delightful man,' remarks the secretary.

She looks over our other visible possessions ([the list of things carried by the player]) and deems them acceptable. She makes us sign a book, for which [you] use a signature of your invention. Finally: 'Go in, descend to the basement, and present yourself at the secure section downstairs. Be advised you will be under video surveillance as you approach. Any attempts to modify or steal Bureau property, to gain access to rooms to which you have not been expressly invited, to eavesdrop on conversations of Bureau employees, or to leave objects of your own behind in the Bureau, may result in your arrest and prosecution.

'Have a nice day!'";

Instead of putting gel on something in the presence of the secretary:

say "I think the secretary would find that a little too interesting."

already caught is a truth state that varies.

A person can be allowed or barred. A person is usually barred.

[Persuasion rule for asking the secretary to try looking at something through something:

persuasion succeeds. ]

Understand "bribe [secretary]" as a mistake ("Attempts to bribe bureau employees carry sentences of up to ten years in prison. I'm not up for that, thanks.").

Instead of taking something which is enclosed by the secretary:

say "Theft from bureau employees carries a sentence of up to fifteen years in prison and rationed use of plurals."

Instead of kissing or attacking the secretary:

say "Violence against the person of a bureau employee is grounds for Cold Storage."

Instead of giving something to the secretary:

try showing the noun to the secretary.

Instead of showing something to the secretary when the secretary encloses the Scope:

try the secretary looking at the noun through the scope.

[After going to the Rotunda when the player encloses the pass:

say "You flash your pass at the secretary, and she shrugs, allowing you in."]